Hey Honey, Fix Me a Mad Cow Burger

USDA Mad Cow Coverup Unravels: "I now realize that there may never again be a confirmed case of Mad Cow Disease during the George Bush Administration. Oh, the diseased animals are out there, but in the name of homeland security, we are being 'protected' in this Orwell-like twenty first century by rulers who think we need sheltering. We may never know the true reason that Ann Veneman resigned her post as USDA's boss the day after the latest Mad Cow incident began. Shortly before her (forced?) resignation, she remarked that her intention was to serve through a second term. Did she leave because she was ordered to fudge the Mad Cow results? I've discovered new evidence that is quite suggestive of a continuing coverup. You be the judge, as I reveal disturbing new information in this column."