Chris Floyd - Empire Burlesque - High Crimes and Low Comedy in the Bush Imperium - Hubub in Hibhib: The Timely Death of al-Zarqawi
Thursday, 08 June 2006
Abu Musab Saddam Osama al-Zarqawi, the extremely elusive if not entirely mythical terrorist mastermind responsible for every single insurgent action in Iraq except for the ones caused by the red-tailed devils in Iran or the stripey-tailed devils in Syria, has reportedly been killed in an airstrike in Hibhib, an area north of Baghdad, Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki announced today.
Zarqawi, the notorious shape-shifter who, according to grainy video evidence, was able to regenerate lost limbs, speak in completely different accents, alter the contours of his bone structure and also suffered an unfortunate binge-and-purge weight problem which caused him to change sizes with almost every appearance, was head of an organization that quite fortuitously dubbed itself 'Al Qaeda in Iraq' just around the time that the Bush Administration began changing its pretext for the conquest from 'eliminating Iraq's [non-existent] weapons of mass destruction' to 'fighting terrorists over there so we don't have to fight them over here.' "