But Mr. President Why Did You Lie To Take Us Into War? (Rose Garden Press Conference 7/30)

YOU'RE THROUGH, JOHN

Chimper got up the nads to stand in front of 'the press' today. But his rambling, incohesive responses left most reporters at the event scratching their heads.

In a particularly direct question, Chimp was asked...well, you can read it.

And when the reporter tries to get a sensible answer, all he gets from the pResident is a snippy "YOU'RE THROUGH, JOHN."

John

Q Thank you, Mr. President. Building sort of on that idea, it's impossible to deny that the world is a better place in the region, certainly a better place without Saddam Hussein. But there's a sense here in this country, and a feeling around the world, that the U.S. has lost credibility by building the case for Iraq upon sometimes flimsy or, some people have complained, non-existent evidence. And I'm just wondering, sir, why did you choose to take the world to war in that way?

Chimper:

You know, look, in my line of work, it's always best to produce results. And I understand that. The -- for a while the questions were, could you conceivably achieve a military victory in Iraq? (No mr chimper sir that was not my question)

You know, the dust storms have slowed you down. And I was a patient man because I realized that we would be successful in achieving our military objective.

Now, of course, the question is, will Iraq ever be free, and will it be peaceful? (No mr chimper sir that was not my question) And I believe it will. I remind some of my friends that it took us a while to go from the Articles of Confederation to the United States Constitution. Even our own experiment with democracy didn't happen overnight. I never have expected Thomas Jefferson to emerge in Iraq in a 90-day period. (No mr chimper sir that was not my question)

And so, this is going to take time. And the world will see what I mean when I say, a free Iraq will help peace in the Middle East, and a free Iraq will be important for changing the attitudes of the people in the Middle East. A free Iraq (No mr chimper sir that was not my question) will show what is possible in a world that needs freedom, in a part of the world that needs freedom. (Ah shit you dumb bastard that was not my FUCKING QUESTION!!!)

Let me finish for a minute, John, please. Just getting warmed up. (eh eh eh) I'm kind of finding my feet. (eh eh eh.)

Saddam Hussein was a threat. The United Nations viewed him as a threat. That's why they passed 12 resolutions. Predecessors of mine viewed him as a threat. We gathered a lot of intelligence. That intelligence was good, sound intelligence on which I made a decision.

And in order to placate the critics and the cynics about intentions of the United States, we need to produce evidence. And I fully understand that. And I'm confident that our search will yield that which I strongly believe, that Saddam had a weapons program. (but chimper_fuckin_liar that wasn't what you said. You said he had WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION READY TO GO) I want to remind you, he actually used his weapons program on his own people at one point in time, which is pretty tangible evidence. But I'm confident history will prove the decision we made to be the right decision.

Hold on for a second. You're through. John.

Chimper admits it. Right off the get-go: You know, look, in my line of work, it's always best to produce results.

The ends justify the means. Lies are ok if you get your fucking way. Doesn't matter how many Americans are killed or what else happened. eh eh eh. Results matter, son, not what you had to do to get the results. Period. Fucking liar.

What do we tell the children?

You're through John?